Do you ever get caught up in a conversation with someone who is ranting to you about everything difficult, unfair and miserable in their life? You know what you’re in for when you see this person; a draining conversation that sucks you into their doom. Wow, sounds dramatic. But you’ve been there, right?
When I first started reading about positivity and learning that we’re all responsible for our own circumstances I felt like I became more of a concious thinker. Making more of an effort not to play victim to life but rather realise I was in control of my happiness.
So when I came across really negative people, moaning and complaining about things I couldn’t help but get really annoyed. I would often think ‘why can’t you see what you’re doing?! Why can’t you see you’re creating this?! Why are you bringing me down with you?!’
I’m in no way perfect. I get down in the dumps, I get caught up in my own drama. So I’m not saying I’m riding high on positive waves 24/7 or that people aren’t entitled to feel a bit mopy from time to time. I just wasn’t very good at not being swept up in other peoples crap – I’d let myself be brought down to their low mood.
Just to let you know, I’m not talking about people who would like to discuss their genuine problems, I’m talking about people who are in the habit of needlessly complaining about everything in their lives.
So one day I was reading an article and a paragraph stuck out at me like a sore thumb. It was about the fact that people create their own reality with their thoughts and their thoughts can’t affect you, unless you choose to be affected by them. Only your thoughts affect your life. AHA! Not only was I being extremely judgemental of people, I was letting their thoughts and story affect me. Totally handing over my power to them.
So from this I created a mantra which I say to myself, to bring instant relief when I find myself in this situation with someone:
You are creating your story, not mine.
I say it over and over again while standing there, politely listening but not being affected.
Remember to also resist the urge to be judgemental, you might not know the whole story with this person.
Have you been in this situation before? How do you deal with it?