The Magic Skill That Women Need To STOP Using

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I was recently on school camp.

(Now that’s something you didn’t expected to read, right?! I’m currently working part time in a primary school and I went along to assist on the year 5 camp.)


Usually these days I’m pretty flexible with travelling and food. I’m okay with being put into situations where I’m out of my usual food routine or have limited choices.

But this time I was really thrown off.

Even though I actually ended up packing a lot of my own food, I still felt out of sorts.

(It might have had something to do with the lack of sleep, noise and dabbling ever so slightly in caffiene which I know is a dangerous gamble for me.)


In a nutshell: it ended up being a 3 day carb fest.

The food I packed was carby. The food on offer was carby.


Now I don’t know about you but I had to work through a lot of carb fears when I was dealing with my food stuff. I believed that carbs were the devil. Carbs are the new fat, right?

(Don’t you reckon we’ll all look back one day and think “OMG I can’t believe we all thought carbs were bad.” Which is pretty much what we’ve already done with fat. Food for thought, my friend, food for thought.)

So here I am eating bread after bread after pasta after bread and I felt some old thoughts patterns emerge.

It triggered me. And for a moment there I instantly gained 20kgs in my head.

Why are we as women so good at that?!

This is the magic skill I’m talking about.


I’ve noticed through my own experiences and talking with clients, that we’re really effing good at gaining weight instantly in our heads.

Sees a photo she doesn’t like of herself? Gains 20kgs in head.

Sees a number on the scales she doesn’t like? Gains 20kgs in head.

Is having a bad hair day? Gains 20kg in head.

Eats cookie when she said she had quit sugar? Gains 20kgs in head.


This skill has to go. Here’s how:

1. Awareness

Notice when you’re doing this. Notice what else is going on for you at that time. Awareness heals.

2. Remind yourself it’s not rational

You know that it’s not possible to gain 20kgs in 3 seconds. Don’t run away with the story. Choose to be rational in this situation.

3. Keep questioning

If you feel yourself moving straight to the thought “yeah but I always do this. It’s not a one off. I’m a failure”, keep questioning and inquiring.


And why’s that?

And why’s that?

Because it’s never about the food. And fat isn’t a feeling. So help yourself move forward by asking what it’s really about. Then address that.


Over to you, you lovely thing. Can you think of times when you felt like you gained 20kgs in 3 seconds? What made you feel like that? Let me know in the comments below. I want to hear your stories! 

xo Jess






 Jessica Silsby is an Eating Psychology Coach, reformed fad dieter and peaceful eater.
She helps women crush binge eating so they finally feel free and empowered around food.

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