It’s not your willpower, it’s your rules


“I need more willpower!”

Have you ever said that to yourself?

Well I’m going to stop you right there: You don’t. 

More willpower isn’t the answer to curing emotional eating, binge eating or overeating. It doesn’t help you regain your sanity around food. 

You might look at someone who you consider to be a “normal eater” (someone who can eat half a piece of cake and leave it without any stress, for example) and think oh wowww you have SUCH good willpower. 

But they don’t. 

They aren’t turning up the volume on their willpower and forcefully leaving half a piece of cake on their plate. The trick with normal eaters is they don’t restrict and try to control what they eat. 

They don’t have any rules. 

I used to have sooo many rules around food. But I used to break most of them in secret, late at night. 

I would go out to dinner, order whatever I was “allowed” to have (according to my own rules) only to come home and eat 7 slices of toast. 

Crying myself to sleep I would think ‘I NEED MORE WILLPOWER”. Cue shame, guilt, embarrassment and self loathing. 

When you deny yourself of what your body wants you WILL (more than likely) go home and eat 7 slices of toast to compensate because you won’t feel satisfied. 


It’s not your willpower, it’s your rules. 


‘But if I forget about all my rules I will go crazy and eat ice cream all day everyday, Jess!”

This is such a common, typical first thought for women who are scared to have no food rules. But just pause for a second, do you really think you will actually live off ice cream all day every day?
Food rules might seem like the answer to keeping you “on track” but they most definitely do more harm than good. 

Rules around food cause stress. They take you further and further away from being able to listen to your body and trust it. When your body is craving something that doesn’t fit into your food rules, you ignore it. When you do this over and over you forget how to actually listen to what your body wants.

Listening to your body is all practise. Trial and error.

The first step is being willing to forget your food rules. Then keep practising and practising listening to your body. Relax and trust. Your body won’t lead you astray. 

Do you feel like your food rules get in the way of your sanity? Share your thoughts in the comments below. 



P.S. Want one-on-one guidance on how to regain your sanity around food. Click here to learn how to work with my privately.

P.P.S. Know someone who would benefit from reading this article? Share it with them!




Leave a Reply