Lately I’ve been feeling a little bit stuck. Feeling like I’m not doing what I want to be doing. I’m not achieving what I want to achieve. I’m not moving forward.
It can feel frustrating and overwhelming.
But then I read something inspiring, listen to something positive and get a kick up the backside from my partner and I realise I’ve been acting like a victim. I seem to have temporarily forgotten that I’m in total control of my happiness, my circumstances and my situation. Phew! I’ve remembered who I really am and stepped back into my power. But this icky, frustrated feeling is still lingering in the background.
One of my beautiful friends has been feeling a little like this too lately. She said in a conversation:
Ahh life is pretty crap sometimes.
So my automatic reaction was to tell her to just focus on the good stuff. To which she responded:
If there is good stuff… that’s where I’m stuck.
I thought what?! Here is this gorgeous girl with a wonderful life, how can she not see anything good?! Oh no, I thought to myself, she’s not being grateful for what she’s got.
Ding! Light bulb! ‘Aha’ moment.
Here I am thinking that she is not expressing enough gratitude but I’m not expressing any! It seems we have both have been suffering from a case of the old “I’ll be happy when” syndrome. That way of thinking that causes you to delay your happiness until you get that thing that you want. Whether it be your dream job, a six pack or a bigger home. I won’t be happy until then.
This way of thinking has a continual effect. So even when you get the thing that you said would make you happy, you don’t really feel happy. Sure it provided temporary excitement, but too soon it starts to feel ordinary and gets replaced with the next fantasy of happiness.
When I think of my current circumstances, this is exactly what I wanted a few months ago. I said I would be happy when I got to where I am now. But I’m not because I’m too busy wanting the next thing and not enjoying the present moment. Naturally we are always going to want more things, have more goals, seek more mountains to climb. It’s life!
So how do we be happy right now?
Gratitude. I was being totally ungrateful for everything in my life and just focusing on the lack. I have so much to be grateful for, everyone does! Gratitude makes us feel content, happy, lighter and in turn less likely to attach our happiness to future events. And when you’re feeling grateful you’ll attract more things in your life to be grateful for.
I have one notebook dedicated to writing things down that I’m grateful for. I feel so happy when I right in it. I feel present and content.
I aim for a list of 10 things. Once you get started you’ll think of more and more things to be grateful for, big and small. I always write ‘because’ afterwards too, it makes it more powerful.
I’m so grateful for/ Thank you so much for _________ because __________________.
I’ll give you a few examples of things I’m grateful for right now.
- I’m so grateful for my health because I can live an active life and feel full of energy and vitality.
- Thank you so much for my family because they are a loving network of support and encouragement around me.
- I’m grateful for my job because I love the people I work with, I love the environment and my regular income brings me a great feeling of security.
- I am so thankful for the breakthrough I’ve had with the mental side of my eating because I’ve let go of so much unnecessary guilt and mindless snacking. My body is changing already.
Once you’ve written out 10 points read back over them and then say out loud to yourself ‘Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! ‘ You will be amazed at how happy you will feel right now. Try and do this everyday if you can, in the morning or before bed. Especially when you think that you too might be suffering from a case of the “I’ll be happy when” syndrome.