I followed my heart. And was scared sh*tless.

1eead33038a19750274aba4e1d7fe8ff

It’s the old tug of war between our heart and our head thing. How many times do we go through this? It’s a tough choice because you feel so strongly in your heart what you want, but your mind convinces you of all the bad things that could happen if you do.

Recently I had been stuck between my heart and my head without even realising it. It took a lot for me to really admit to myself what I wanted. I didn’t know I was ignoring my intuitive feelings until everything just started to feel so heavy and hard.

So, I’m giving up dancing.

Wow that still stings a little. I guess I’ll get use to it. I’ve been a dancer my whole life, it’s ‘who I am’. So you can imagine when I realised I just didn’t want to do it any more it was scary. Not only has this been my hobby but my career right from leaving school.

Although dancing careers are short compared to others, I thought it would stay in my heart for so much longer. But it hasn’t. I was letting my mind (or ego) convince me of all the reasons why I shouldn’t stop for so long which caused me to push my hearts’ feelings away. ‘I should keep going because there are still things I’ve not achieved.’ ‘I should continue because otherwise all my hard work will go to waste’. ‘If I stop what will be special about me?’ ‘What will my dancing friends think?’. ‘What will my family think?!’

Since I opened up and admitted it to myself (thanks to a beautiful life coach) so much has shifted! I felt all this pressure fall off me. It feels incredible to let myself fully feel the excitement about the next chapter in my life. I’m grateful I have something else I’m passionate about: health and wellbeing!

It’s not nearly as scary as we make out to ourselves – letting go of something that’s not right for us anymore. It’s opened up so much exciting space for the new. Just be kind to yourself in letting it go. Once I had decided to retire (that’s the word I like to use) it took me two days of going back and forth and still trying to hold on for dear life. I felt like I was mourning the loss of someone. But it was really amazing to witness that nothing had actually changed on the outside. It was an internal shift. I had made this big huge deal of it but the world didn’t stop. It’s hilarious that no one else really thinks it’s a big deal either!

So my point of this is, if you have an intuitive feeling about something follow it! When your head pipes in and tries to convince you of all the reasons why you shouldn’t just know that it’s fear. And fear is just an illusion. You can’t deny the feeling you have about something. When you show up and honour that feeling or call to something, you will always be supported by the universe – or whatever you believe in. The magic happens on the other side of that heartfelt feeling. Follow it!

4 thoughts on “I followed my heart. And was scared sh*tless.

  1. An absolutely inspiring post Jess! I’ve been fearful about making a difficult decision for a while now and surprisingly it has taken reading this post (at 3am on a school night) to let it all go. So thank you! Wish you the very best for your new adventure xx

  2. A very difficult decision to make and one I myself have struggled with in the past. I read this and found it very easy to relate to! Good on you for following your intuition and more importantly discovering another passion in the process. It’s amazing how much we learn about ourselves when we make that leap! We discover new talents and passions that we didn’t realise we had. Wishing you all the best on your new journey and I’m looking forward to reading more!

    • Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment Shauna. It does make it easier to know that many people have gone through the same thing and can understand! I hope everything is great with you x

Leave a Reply